Being a Gentle Women

Posted in For the Ladies: Obedient Beauty | 2 comments

Being a Gentle Women

“but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.”

– 1 Peter 3:4




You know that old fable about the Sun and the Wind? They got into an argument over who was able to get a man to take off his jacket. The wind said he could blow off that coat first. He blew and blew and blew that coat but the man held onto his jacket tighter and tighter. The Wind finally gave up. Then the Sun shown bright and hot. The man  became over heated and quickly took off his jacket. The Sun’s gentle heat won over the blowing frustration of the Wind.


Now what does this have to do with a gentle spirit? The Sun is shining its light; sweet and gentle. And it gets the proper results without ‘wounding’ anyone. The Wind, however, is full of frustration and anger; he does not have the results he wants and becomes increasingly angry. I feel like this is us: wives and moms. We can either create a peaceful, gentle home or one full of frustration and bitterness.


A quiet, gentle spirit has been one of my 2014 goals (contentment being the other and I praise God for the training ground he keeps giving me. I’ll talk about this more in another post maybe). I want to have a gentle and quiet spirit when I talk and discipline my children, when I’m frustrated or disagree with my husband and anytime I’m talking with friends.

 A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Proverbs 15:1

I remember hearing someone talk one time about how yelling at their children was a proper way of discipline.  How it would get them to do what they wanted (most of the time.) Unfortunately, this may be a temporary fix but will cause damaging results. Its shows your child that you aren’t stable in your emotions, are not godly, and it will most likely open the door for Satan to bring in his lies. Anger and harsh instruction are not the answer for your children. A calm gentle voice and body language show love and show that you have control over yourself. The chances of Satan being able to use a gentle instruction for harm is slim to none. I want to embody this! I want my kids to remember me as the gentlest mother even in difficult and frustrating circumstances.

An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones.

Proverbs 12:4

Jared always jokes around (from personal experience) that the wife is the nucleus of the family. That if she is having a bad day, everyone has a bad day but if she is having a good day, its great. Honestly how sad! If I’m having a bad day because of a headache or “just because”,  I still want my whole family to have a wonderful day! I don’t want to bring them down. And I really dont want to create baggage for the entire family. About a year ago I was watching an episode of the Duggars (yes, yes. I first heard about them about 2 years ago and Jared bought me their first season). I was amazed at how gentle Mrs. Duggar was all- the- time! (When she talked to her husband and when she talked to her kids.) It was a great example for me. I set out to do this; having a gentle and quiet spirit everyday no matter what is going on.

Look up these:

Proverbs 14:1 Proverbs 27:15 Proverbs 19:13 b


You know what though? You can’t do it! Not on your own anyway. You need to run to God and fall in his arms and ask Him to continually help you to do this. It’s h-a-r-d. At least for me! I remember the first time I raised my voice or talked ‘too stern” to the kids. It was December 2008. I called Jared crying saying, “You need to come home now! I yelled at the kids and now Satan is going to ruin them.” I didn’t realize that I had been gentle the previous three years (’05-’08) in my own strength. God has continued to show me that I need to rely on Him and His strength.

Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

Proverbs 31:30

We can only go so far in our own strength. Soon we will be found a fraud, whether it’s now by our family, friends, or when Christ judges us for all the good and bad we have done (2 Corinthians 5:10). We should desire the beauty that the Lord looks for: a gentle, quiet, and loving spirit.

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  1. Amy, I so greatly appreciate you sharing real life. I relate that I’ve held it together a lot as a calm mom in my own strength for almost 3 years, but my ability to reply softly and gently falls short & is tried when things get chaotic and I can’t meet the needs fast enough. My oldest is now 2 3/4 and my youngest is 8 months (both boys), my husband has very long shifts, & we live far from all family. I realize now more than ever exactly what you wrote about in this post. Maybe its the age and combination of little ones and their many needs that has broke me (I know its a good place to be in). I have been seeking truth nightly lately as I recount the day’s joys & challenges …each night desiring to be a godly mom & with God’s help manage it all better tomorrow. I was blessed to come across your writing and relate right where I am at.
    Tonight was the first time I’ve been on your site and I am blessed with the reminders from the word of what is best. Thank you. Please keep writing about your experiences and learning as a mom.

    PS your family is so beautiful. I pray that the Lord continues to bless you all greatly in every way inside and out.

  2. Thank you so much for you encouragement. Its always nice to know that others are going through the same types of trials and character building! Blessings to you and your sweet boys!